Coulrophobic
by Charlockle
Summary: L.A.B.B. Serial killer Beyond Birthday grew up in an orphanage known as Wammy's House. There, he had one friend, who accompanied him through his tormented, damaged life. This is the story about Beyond and Joker, and their intertwining lives. ((Rated M for possible, very descriptive violence)) ((Possible X OC))


_Charlockle: Hey there guys, it's me again. I just thought I'd let you know that I'm setting up ANOTHER fanfiction. Yes, yes, I know I'm bad with updates, but I really love the story behind this one and I've been really tempted to set it up for months now. I have the plot sorted out and everything!_

_This is one of two Death Note fanficitons I will be continuing in the years to come, and it's certainly not the main one. It's about my Wammy's House OC, Joker._

_Eventually, I expect that this fanfiction will interlock with my other one, but that won't happen for a long while, so..._

_Meh. I'm babbling. On with the show. :)_

_PS: I apologize for the time-zones. The first chapter is set in the past, the second in the far-off past, and the third somewhere in-between. The fourth is set after the first chapter, and the fifth should be after that. Then, the whole story continues from the time-zone of the Fifth chapter. Sorry if you can't keep up. I'll try to help you~ I'll add dates when I have time to work it all out. :D_

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**Set 1 year before the L.A.B.B. Murder Cases. (The Past-Past)**

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"He's back, he's back!"

"Ouch! Get off me, you're pushing me!"

"I can't believe he's here!"

"He's been gone for weeks!"

I skulked down the cavernous hallway as the huge mass of youngsters ran around me, cheering and laughing and hollering, clambering see out of the windows that faced the porch. "Stupid kids! Shut up, it's only Ryuzaki!" I barked in English, my voice set in its raspy, dog-like tone as I usually did when taking children into account. It usually made them listen, because I sure as hell scared the hell out of every other child in the orphanage, but today they were occupied with bigger things. Better things.

"Hey Mells, do you think he's got me a new console again?" A gleeful voice peeped from my side; our genius hacker, Matt, was addressing his best friend. Although, I couldn't quite see the latter.

I frowned. "I'm not Mello, Matt." My foot tripped over a toy robot left in the hallway and I staggered to regain my balance. "Right! Where's that little white-haired brat?"

"Yeah Near, pick up your crap!" The voice chortled from beside me, and a second later I heard a loud and painful "smash" "hit full-force in the forehead by likely another plastic robot. Near seemed to like violence, and grenades. Unusual, for a child of his age.

I shut my eyes for a second and took a deep breath in an attempt to meditate in the midst of chaos. I wasn't a detective, artist, genius, or anything of the sort. I was just one of the oldest residents of Wammy's House and therefore, got all the trouble from the little ones. I was brought in about a year after the first three, but this was merely because my friend had needed me there as company. I wasn't 'special' in any way. All the others were either emotionless genii, or hyperactive tai-jutsu experts. They were never as exited though, as they were on this particular day. The day the "hero" came home.

My eyes opened to see one of the older boys, a young man with black hair, striding towards me. He was nearly as tall as me, but he was still much taller than the other children in the corridor. We were both the tallest in the orphanage, and we stood out because of it. A large, black duffle-coat hung around his lanky body, matching his messy hair and coal, baggy jeans too. When his red eyes, dyed from birth, swept over mine, a large grin spread across his smug face. He and I were both 21, the eldest in the school.

"Good morning Joker." The boy beamed at me, his back slightly slouched so he was looking up at me, a finger tracing his thin lips as it usually did. "I see you are enjoying the return of our dear friend."

I smiled sarcastically. "Oh, you know I just love children, BB. All this extra attention, the havoc, it's just thrilling." My voice was coated in loathing for the hero of the orphanage. Whenever he returned, he would get all the special treatment; gifts, food, affection...lucky bastard.

BB though, never got any of this treatment. I guess you could blame it on his, what they call 'distressing' actions and traits. I was somewhat similar to him, only I was found myself less known in the orphanage.

BB glanced around the corridor and chuckled at my distress; a deep, demon-like laugh. "He's making a bigger scene than usual this time. Perhaps he's looking forward to meeting us again. After all, he has been gone a year."

The glimmer behind his eyes however told me he was a lot less smug than he appeared. He loathed the attention his rival got, and you could tell just from looking at him, that his goal was to do it another way. In the past year, I had helped BB transform from his straight-haired, pale skinned self into a permanent clone of his older brother. His hair would naturally stick up thanks to training, and all the data I had collected from watching his brother had been taken, his mood-patterns, would be monitored and taken in by us. Now, BB was an almost-clone. He could become him if he wanted.

Despite BB's uncanny resemblance to our hero-figure, I found it rather easy to talk with him. All that he really changed was his hair-style, and his usual personality was similar to before, but only more competitive than ever.

I shrugged past him. "One year sure is a long time. How about we show him our little project?"

As two of the younger kids skipped past me towards the windows, I ducked under the door at the end of the corridor and after BB had got through, closed it shut behind us. I exhaled and revelled in the perfect silence. The students weren't allowed outside at these particular times; it was too dark, and too late, despite our hero being here for once. The garden, playground, and drive were all deserted. The moon hung higher in the sky than usual, and it was full for once. I judged it about ten o'clock at night, and that was judged to be about his arrival. The car thankfully, would not come up the full drive, but would wait at the gates at the opening, one hundred and fifty meters away. We would be out of sight of the children, and by the time we had arrived they would be hushed away to their rooms for the night.

It was perfect, other than the fact that it would just be me, BB, and him.

I sighed, straightening my back so that I stood at my full height. A yawn broke through my system, and I opened my mouth wide, taking in the cool night air. I pulled on my black scarf, tugged down my top-hat, and looked to BB, who had a solemn, serious look on his face.

For a moment, his features scared me. His eyes were dark, his pupils dilated, and his hair hanging over his face mysteriously. He was slouched slightly, a pale blue scarf wrapped around his neck being the only sign of colour on his body. He looked at me for a second, before taking a step onto the gravel.

My mouth became a line, and I followed.

We walked like that for a good few minutes, silently kicking away the gravel with our bare feet, looking up at the stars as we scrunched our hands into our coat pockets. I was very warm with my hat and scarf, but I could still see Beyond visibly shaking. He was wearing a scarf too, but he had never coped well with the cold.

I went to ask if the man was alright, but I was stopped.

"Joker, I'm sure you understand the implications of L's return."

I craned my head to the side as I walked, looking at Beyond oddly. Implications? Well, of course he was the world's greatest detective, and he had to come back every once in a while. But I did understand Beyond's point. Why now? Why here?

Why us?

"I'm not sure I do." I admitted, giving a somewhat apathetic answer to a well-structured question. "Enlighten me."

We stood at the end of the gravel path now, the moon hovering above our heads providing a nice lighting for the scene of our little performance. As far as I was concerned, there was nothing that could beat the moon. The sun was always way too bright, and it threatened to blister the skin in the worst of moods. The moon merely stood there, reflecting light like a huge, spherical mirror that changed the course of the tides.

Luckily though, myself and BB were nocturnal, and, so was our little guest.

"L has returned so that he can pick his successors." Beyond said, calmly.

Inside, I let out a little scream. Despite being second in running, becoming the next L was not my idea of fun. I had honestly, never wanted to become a detective, and I was certainly not put out for it. I wasn't as clever as Beyond or L, and I never coped well mentally under huge amounts of pressure.

There was also the fact that if the world were to rot under my feet, I still wouldn't give a damn.

"Don't worry though," Beyond chuckled, just as I was deciding to walk off and throw the towel in right there. I was glad he was my best friend, sometimes. "I'm not particularly keen on the ideals of becoming the next L, and I understand that you're not either. I plan to make this evidentially clear by the end of the day."

I let out a nervous chuckle. By 'the end of the day', did he mean in the next two hours? Because that's all the time we had left, and I still hadn't prepared a scripted argument for the declaration. "I assume you mean tomorrow, Beyond. It's going to take him more than a couple of hours to even notice my presence, never mind give me a chance to start a full-blown debate with him."

A sly grin crept across Beyond's face, and I found myself inwardly shivering. I turned my head back to the drive just in time to see the beginnings of a sleek, dark navy blue limousine turn around the corner and creep up the drive. I watched with cold eyes as the flashy car rolled along the small pebbles, its shiny black tires skating smoothly over the rocks like a figure skater on ice.

It was so flashy. Why did everything have to be flashy with him?

Assuming that the lack of an answer meant 'Yes. I'll speak to you about it later.', I let myself calm down knowing that there was nothing else to worry about other than actually greeting the hero, for now. Soon enough I would be back in the house, lying in underneath my thick, royal duvet with a copy of 'Hounds of the Baskervilles' in hand, with the possibility of a chilled glass of whiskey.

"Snap out of it Joker."

I felt myself colour as Beyond elbowed me in the side. I had been too busy day-dreaming about my little utopia that I had gotten a bit distracted. I looked back to the car anxiously, letting my face return back to the blank picture it had been before.

Sure enough, an elongated shadow fell over the well-lit driveway, and a moment later L appeared, his hair in usual disarray as it hung in his broody eyes. The unkempt black mop appeared to have grown longer over the year he'd been gone, not that I cared to notice. He padded slowly towards us, his toes moving the pebbles underfoot as he walked. He met us by the grass, in silence. I remained stood beside BB, looking the detective up and down, not one bit of emotion in my gaze. He didn't look at me though. Both eyes were set on the boy stood beside me.

BB smirked.

"Backup." L nodded, a word which shot an arrow though the middle of BB's spine. "I see you've had some time on your hands. Very observant of you."

BB chuckled under his breath, showing two emotions in one sentence as his smile managed to transform into a frown by his last word. "A lot more than you think, Lawli. Although, this was more of Joker's doing than mine...perhaps you should pay more attention to the mongrel of the three of us."

I growled under my breath and walloped the boy over the back of his head. A mongrel, was not a term I suited to myself. The boy recoiled slightly when I hit him, but didn't utter another word. "Yes, good evening L." I said.

"Joker." The detective frowned, looking up at me, "You've grown."

I chuckled. Yes, I had grown. I now stood a whole foot taller than him, and my voice had grown noticeably deeper as well. Though, I doubt he would have picked up on that. "Nice observation there L." I grinned, "And your hair has grown longer."

L looked up at me through his bangs, analysing my expressions, "Yes. That is what hair does, after all. Now, Backup." He turned his head towards Beyond, who glared at him, a twisted smile on his lips. I could tell he wasn't enjoying himself as much as he thought he would.

"Yes, Lawlipop?"

I inwardly sighed. These two were always fighting like that. They were prone to bickering, arguing, making snide comments every now and then...but Beyond always took it further.

No-one in the whole of Wammy's house was supposed to know L's name. No-one apart from Watari, and of course, L himself. It was the same with every student here. It was a security thing; one of the student's names gets out, and their days of being a detective are long gone. All security is lost, and there's no chance of going unseen in the world.

But Beyond...Beyond was different.

Beyond Birthday, had the uncanny ability to be able to know the name of each and every person he laid eyes upon. He once told me that the names didn't just come to him, that they were letters, floating above people's heads that read out their names. Full names, glittering in a scarlet red above other people's heads, but never his own. This agitated him.

It agitated L too. He didn't like people knowing his name. It was a matter of Global Security, and the fact that his rival – and his rival's best friend of course – knew his name, was blasphemy to him. And yet he could do nothing to prevent it.

"I thought we had agreed to hold back on the use of our real names, Beyond." L glared at the man, his eyes narrowing and his finger tracing his bottom lip as he took in B's expression, which was rather jovial, to say the least.

"I thought I told you I didn't like being called 'Backup'." Beyond replies sarcastically, shoving his hands into his coat pockets and smirking at the detective. He looked like a teenager again; the typical, scheming, mischievous Beyond Birthday I knew and loved. I liked seeing this side of him, so I didn't so much as attempt to stop him from goading L on.

Besides, I liked to watch people squirm, and L was one of my favourites.

L gave Beyond a hard glare before walking in between us, grazing our arms as he passed. We were of course, expected to follow. We were of course, supposed to take his silence as an end to our conversation.

From now until this ridiculously arrogant man left our home, we were of course, supposed to bow down to his every need.

Beyond shot me a glance and arched an eyebrow, mouthing 'I don't think he's too happy to see us.'

I chuckled and turned around to follow the detective, who was already pacing ahead, eager to get out of the cold and into the warmth of the house. 'Maybe some-body stole his lollypop.' I mouthed back with a grin.

Of course, having L here was going to be a lot more fun than I had made it out to be. He would be bossy, and annoying, creating a thick stench of petulance in the orphanage, but, we were prepared for that. Both of us knew that L was out to get us for something, and we both agreed that whatever it was, we did not want to become a part of it.

I guess that was enough of a basis to get us settled for the week to come.

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Hooray! I finished Chapter 1! :D I hope you enjoyed it. It should hopefully get you all to gear with a bit of Joker's character, and with her interactions with L and BB.

If not, then there are some other chapters coming up that should help. :)


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